


Truth is that I want this (cause I always see you in my sleep)

by MistysGatorTeeth, thymetr4veler



Series: Truth Is [1]
Category: The Haunting of Bly Manor (TV)
Genre: Canon Lesbian Relationship, Choking, Creampie, Dubious Consent, F/F, Finger Sucking, Forced Orgasm, G!P Jamie, Happy Ending, Light Angst, Porn With Plot, Possessed Sex, Shameless Smut, Sleep Sex, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:33:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27598271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistysGatorTeeth/pseuds/MistysGatorTeeth, https://archiveofourown.org/users/thymetr4veler/pseuds/thymetr4veler
Summary: And she can’t breathe, but Jamie finds it in herself to let out an airy attempt at the only thing she’s worried about, “Dani?"..Viola gets what she wants, and it turns out to be what all of them needed.
Relationships: Dani Clayton/Jamie, Dani Clayton/Jamie/Viola Lloyd
Series: Truth Is [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2017622
Comments: 11
Kudos: 162





	Truth is that I want this (cause I always see you in my sleep)

**Author's Note:**

> First off, I want to thank thymetr4veler for helping me bring this story to life. She really helped push along the writing of this fic and without her, I doubt it would have made it past the first page. She did a great job beta reading, and I figured the effort she put into this story well deserved the title of co-author.  
> Secondly, this story does include Girl!Penis Jamie, so if that's not your cup of tea, I completely understand.  
> Last, I hope you all enjoy it!

There is somewhere in her dreams, smuggled between the nightmares, where Dani gets to walk the path lined with willows into the darkened garden of her subconscious. Her shoulders laid bare, the silken material of a shirt she doesn’t own in any sense of physical wardrobe falls down the pale skin and drapes around her elbows. The thin and flowy branches of leaves tickle her collarbone as she walks under the trees towering above her. Her feet don’t feel any pain from the rough stones the path is paved with, and her hands catch pollen that dances on a breeze that she cannot feel. 

The sounds - the noises, they are faded. Like someone’s playing them back underwater. She can hear a heartbeat, and if she weren’t so  _ foggy,  _ Dani would note it’s her own thumping throughout the air. There is no sky. No black of night, no sun to light up the way. There’s a black weight of a ceiling that cannot be seen, and not a single shadow cast along the path. Her fingers cannot be felt against her palms as she curls them into nervous fists. This place might not be a nightmare, not  _ just  _ yet, but there are certainly monsters lurking behind the trees. 

_ “Danielle.”  _

Sometimes, it’s someone she knows; her mother’s voice or Hannah’s. Sometimes, it’s even Jamie’s sweet murmuring that beckons her deeper into her own mind. This time it floats to her, so _unfamiliar_ , and yet the same as her own. Rooted in the soil right below her. But soil gives way, and water ripples in between her toes as she steps out into the lake. Willow tree roots twist around in the shallow waters beneath her heels. Dani walks across the surface of the lake without sinking, and droplets float as she kicks them up, as if gravity simply cannot be bothered to weigh them down. 

Her heart does drop, right in the tower of her chest, as she looks down, and instead of seeing her own reflection gleaming off the murky water, Dani sees  _ her.  _ The lady, the lady in the lake.  _ Her  _ lady in the fucking lake. This is the part where she runs, takes flight into the willows until her thighs burn from running and the wolves tear her apart along the winding path she just spent what seemed like an eternity getting lost down. 

“No,” Dani voices, an echo of her pitch. In this place between sleep, her chin doesn’t wobble, but her words don’t hold much solidarity.  _ I will not run this time.  _ Something within Dani tells her this decision may be the last one she ever makes.

_“No,”_ The lady repeats back, like a well-trained bird perched on her shoulder _._ The lady manifests herself then, with a palm curling over Dani’s bicep. She is no longer below the waterline. The Lady confronts Dani here, she doesn’t allow herself to be side-swept into puddles, sinks, or boiling pots. She stands, her features not gone but not fully sharp under the brim of her adorned hat.

“Danielle,” The Lady speaks, her lips a blur of motion that cannot be read. The pads of her fingers cannot be felt as they come to rest under Dani’s chin and effortlessly bring her head up to meet her eyes. It feels too much like looking into a mirror but not recognizing the reflection.

“You wandered too far, again.” 

How can you wander when all you want to do is hide away? 

“Leave me alone,” Dani tries to say with conviction. Her eyes water and her lip trembles as she stares into the Lady’s eyes, trying to make out the expressions on the blurry face of the woman nested in her mind. 

“Sweet girl,” The Lady whispers, her voice scratchy from lack of use. The willows whip as the wind picks up, yet Dani can’t feel any of it - her hair lays against her shoulders, still. “Why are you so wary of me?” 

Dani gulps. She much prefers the night terrors to these fleeting moments with Viola. She’s too  _ human _ in the in-betweens. No longer a beast in the shadows, her fingers don’t grab and pull Dani down here. She stares, and she looks over Dani like she’s the most confusing thing in the world. She probably is, to Viola at least. “I want to go  _ home,”  _ Dani whimpers, and she feels so much smaller when Viola confronts her. Like there’s no way possible Dani is the one holding the reins between the two of them. She’s not sure where home is. She’s going to wake up. She’ll wake, and Viola will be tucked right behind her eyes, where she cannot hurt anyone, seeing the morning light with her.

_ No, _ Dani shakes her head, feeling dizzy.  _ Jamie’s home.  _ She wants the gardener to pull her from this place like she pulls dandelions from their back garden. She’s out of place, all misarranged in here. 

Viola’s hand lingers on her chin, holding up Dani’s face so she can’t look away; so she can’t run from her demon, it seems. 

“Why do you not listen to me, Danielle?”

Questions. Always so many  _ questions  _ that’ll leave a bad taste in her mouth even after she wakes up. The water ripples below her, but not below Viola. Her feet lay wet and bare on the surface of the lake, sinking into its depths. 

“What do you want from me?” Dani demands.  _ Really  _ Demands. She’s got her hands in tight fists, and her chest puffs with a great gasp of air that bubbles in her lungs with nerves. She steps forward, her figure nearly touching Viola’s as she glares up at the ghostly woman. 

“I want what  _ you  _ want,” Viola answers. Dani’s heart is hammering; the beat can be heard pounding heavily around them. This is the most she’s talked to her lady in the lake, the most she’s gotten out of the beast that stalks her memory. A pale hand reaches out, dragging fingertips down the side of Dani’s face. They make their way to her temple and along her cheekbone before a thumb presses against her bottom lip. Dani gulps. She wants to run away. Dani wants to  _ go.  _ She wants to run back, but the lady’s thumb feels like an immense weight holding her in place instead of a simple finger on her mouth, anchoring her without the need for any pressure. She stands stock still as Viola pushes her thumb gently past her lips. The rest of Viola’s hand cradles her chin, and she pushes indents into Dani’s cheeks with pointed nails as she demands with a low and calculated voice, “You’re going to listen to  _ me  _ now.” 

Viola tilts her head, turning Dani’s head as well with a twist of her wrist. Dani can’t help but part her clenched teeth and let the digit press into her mouth, onto the velvet surface of her tongue; the lady of the lake paying careful attention to the way Dani’s lips wrap around her knuckle. Viola clicks her tongue, and her few inches on Dani has her glaring down at the blonde, “It’s  _ my  _ turn.” 

Viola tilts her head as if she’s reading the words right from Dani’s inner dialogue. A dark eyebrow raises, and her motion-blurred eyes blink at Dani patiently as she slowly removes her thumb from Dani’s mouth, dragging her bottom lip till it turns white before releasing her altogether.

Dani takes a second to get her bearings again. “You want to go?” Dani finally,  _ finally  _ theorizes after a long moment. The wind catches Viola’s dress, the damp ends of it brushing against Dani’s bare legs. Dani doesn’t like this lake; it’s dark, and the sand of the banks is blackened like coal in a fireplace. The willows sway on the shoreline, and their long hanging branches dip into the waters, silently breaking the surface tension. Dani cannot seem to blame her. What a horrible place to be stuck. 

“My body,” Viola’s voice is sharp, “It’s gone. I cannot feel it. It has been a long time, hasn’t it?” Dani nods, slowly. “Your body, though,” Viola starts up again, her fingers now going to drag down to Dani’s forearms. Her palms flatten there, flexing her digits until they squeeze desperately into Dani’s skin like she’s pleading her next words. “You can give it _back_ to me.”

Dani shakes her head,  _ No.  _ She should have run. She shouldn’t have stood upon the lake and faced the Lady. She’s going to consume her until there’s no longer a reflection to look at. Until the Lady gets to walk again. 

But Viola shakes her shoulders, and her eyes clear. Pretty brown eyes that look into her the same way she looks into the Lady that swims in her mirrors.  _ Scared _ . Dani recognizes. She’s so very scared. Dani is too, as she feels her feet sink into the lake, her ankles beginning to be swallowed up by the thick black waters. Her voice comes, then, in the form of a panicked scream, as the lady steps away from her. Away, back down the path.  _ Alone.  _

Viola walks. Viola  _ wakes.  _

  
  
  
  


It is way too damn early. Or _late_ , depending on if you count the fact that Jamie hasn’t actually slept yet. The alarm clock on the nightstand ticks quietly in the silence of their bedroom; _3:02_ , it reads in its red, blocked numbers.

Arborvitae had come in this morning; unloaded onto the sidewalk in front of the leafling as a welcoming sign of the spring defrost. The soil had been caked and clay-based, running in thick, coppery rivers in the morning dew as Jamie cursed at the men making a mess on the curb outside their shop.  _ How many fucking times do I have to tell them no clay?  _ Her eyebrows draw together a bit as she thinks back, carrying their anger from earlier into her expression. 

And Dani - sweet Dani, offering her God-awful coffee and a supportive smile as Jamie cursed at the truck as it drove away, kicking rocks with a frustrated huff - she’d been all too eager to help Jamie drag the heavy pots into the back garden to work the bushes into a more proper soil. But someone had to open the store on a sleepy Sunday in Vermont, full of customers looking for the best Easter lilies offered on their quaint Main Street. So she listened from the back while Dani helped the customers, her fingers gently pulling clay from the roots of each emerald green disaster to the sound of the bell jingling with each new visitor. The landscapers would be on their doorstep tomorrow morning, rising with the sun and looking for thick greenery to frame homes for the booming spring business. 

So Jamie was stuck working until long after the sun had set, a floodlight illuminating the mess she’d made all day until each shrub was settled into peat moss and soil that caked her fingernails. A mountain of tan clay stood in defeat as Jamie whipped off the bandana holding her brunette curls back. Her denim overalls were stained in such a horrid way, she can already imagine Dani’s frown as she looks over them in this week’s laundry. They land in the hamper in the bathroom as she makes her way to the shower to wash the day’s dirt and sweat down the drain. Fifteen minutes later, she is more than ready to climb into bed alongside her love.

_ Dani.  _ She’d been checking on her all night. But as Jamie had creaked open their bedroom door, her lips turned up in a funny little smirk at Dani on the bed. Her fingers loose on the book that’s fallen aside from her lap. A pink flannel pajama top with no matching bottoms, the warming weather having cast Dani’s sleep pants far into the back of their shared closet, but socks still cover her toes - a gentle reminder of the nightly cold. Jamie can’t help but feel bad, then and there, after crawling up to huddle against the sleeping woman’s side. Dani had been looking forward to their day together, given the busiest of Jamie’s week with the final frost of the season already passing by. But once again, she ended up working through the entire weekend. 

Dani makes a noise in her sleep: a low groan that rumbles through her chest so deeply Jamie feels it through her back. Jamie’s tired herself, snuggled into the comfort of their bed, but her ears perk at the sound. Her hand lands on Dani’s shoulder, worried as her fingers press into the fabric covering it.  _ Bad dreams?  _ But Dani leans into the touch, and her breath leaves her in a soft moan through parted lips.  _ Oh,  _ Jamie feels warm in the dark of their bedroom,  _ good dreams.  _ They certainly haven’t had time for  _ that  _ kind of time together, have they? The clock ticks past three-thirty. Her lower half stirs as Dani shifts against her in her sleep. 

Surely, Dani wouldn’t be too miffed at her for waking her up. Given the deepness of her sleep, she’s gotten a good few hours in by now.  _ And  _ the former au pair has been leaving little, lingering touches as hints against Jamie’s lower back these past few days. Besides, it’s not like she hasn’t done this before. 

Her fingers dip down to the middle of Dani’s chest, fingers flicking the buttons of Dani’s shirt free so the soft material falls open. Jamie’s knuckles brush against the swell of her breasts as she reveals pale skin, inch by inch; her breath warm against the side of Dani’s neck as Dani’s hitches in her sleep. Jamie follows through, fully undoing the other woman’s shirt until all the buttons are undone, and her fingertips play with the simple elastic waistband of Dani’s underwear. 

It’s a bit of a struggle, tugging the cotton down Dani’s limp legs with one hand. Jamie sits up on her knees; she moves the blonde’s legs until they’re spread enough for her to kneel between after sending the now-forgotten undergarment onto the bedroom floor, quickly followed by her pair of now-unnecessary briefs. English ivy crawls up their wrought iron headboard, and Jamie is careful not to grab it along with the solid bar to support her as she shifts her weight. Best to not to wake Dani just yet. Her hair falls from its tie as she moves above Dani’s supine figure. The blonde’s own curls fanned against her pillow, head lulled to the side perfectly for Jamie to lean down and press feather-light kisses to the underside of Dani’s jaw.

It’s dark, too dark to see, even with the minimal amount of light from the full moon outside. Jamie still looks down between them, a bit disappointed she can’t watch her own hand move against Dani in well-practiced circles - that she can’t see Dani start to stir underneath her with quiet, hurrying gasps. But she gets to  _ feel  _ them at the very least. The pant of her chest against Jamie’s own. The way her fingers move faster as the area gets slicker with every pass. 

Hands drift to her sides. Jamie smirks, her dimples pushing in and her eyes closing to enjoy the way Dani’s fingers anchor her, making little half-moon marks for each neatly trimmed nail against her skin. “You finally joined me, Poppins?” Jamie teases, feeling Dani’s legs move against the sheets under her. Dani moans. Her toes curl, her knees lift and part further with the heaviness of sleep clinging to her muscles. “Must be a bit eager,” The gardener makes note, kissing Dani’s cheek as the other woman stirs, “I thought I’d have made it down there with my mouth before you woke up.” 

Dani doesn’t talk - she’s sleepy, her features still slackened, save for the way her brows pull together as Jamie’s fingers drift down, her fingertips replaced by the pad of her thumb. Her own hips rock down into Dani’s, it pushes her hand further. Fingers curl forward, her palm fitted against Dani’s center as Jamie bites her own lip.

“Christ, Poppins, _that_ good of a dream?” Her hand is soaked, and she’s sure she doesn’t even _need_ to work Dani up anymore as enthusiastically wet as she is right now. Jamie’s _tired,_ she's not exactly thinking with her brain, and the idea of going to sleep with Dani’s legs spread like this is passing through her thoughts as she groans. The bed creaks, and maybe it’s her own drowsiness that causes her to take it as such a shock when Dani’s legs don’t just wrap around her waist - they make their way around her waist and _flip_ their positions. 

A squeak escapes from Jamie’s throat as her head hits her own pillow on the opposite side of the bed. The room’s so dark it’s difficult when she blinks against it to attain any sort of orientation after the unexpectedly fast motion. She doesn’t see the blackened ceiling, but Dani’s light hair catches the moonlight like a halo around her shadowed form as she sits astride Jamie’s hips like it’s something she’s done countless times before. The surprising jump of her heart steadies. Jamie lets out a held breath, “ _ Blimey _ , Poppins,” Her hands smooth over Dani’s thighs settled on the sides of her hips, “Where’d that core strength come from, then?” 

It’s not often Jamie finds herself on her back in bed. It’s actually pretty  _ rare,  _ in fact. She quite likes this new side of Dani, though. This strange sense of intensity heating Jamie’s body, the sudden ascendence that Dani reinforces with the slight rock of her hips, as if testing the waters. As if waters were  _ Jamie,  _ and it makes her eyes roll to the back of her head as Dani’s hot center not-so-subtly grinds against her bulge.

“Christ, Dani,” Jamie sucks in a lungful of air, her breath skipping on her tongue. She’s unconsciously rolling her hips up into Dani’s movements, chasing the feeling as Dani lifts herself up on her knees. Jamie reaches for Dani, as she often does in these moments, but her hands get batted away. _Weird._ If she weren’t so distracted by the blonde’s hand reaching between them to wrap around her, to line her up, she’d worry about it. Jamie tries to catch Dani’s hips, but before she can make her first move, the backs of Dani’s thighs are already making contact with Jamie’s lap. She bottoms out in Dani, her voice shakes with the feeling of the au pair’s little ruts as she settles on her. “ _Poppins_. Not too fast, ‘ight?” 

Dani starts to lift herself, earning a guttural sound from Jamie below her that the blonde matches with her own. She works into a steady rhythm on top, letting herself rise and fall in time with the pants of her breath. Jamie’s eyes flutter shut, she wants so badly to reach up and put her hands on Dani’s breasts, but she settles for relaxing back into the mattress and thinking of the absolute vision she’d be seeing if the room wasn’t so dark. Dani’s top open, the soft swell of her chest sways as each burgeoning movement becomes harder with every buck of her hips.

Jamie whimpers as Dani’s palms flatten on her chest, using her body to steady herself as her hips work faster, harder. The bed squeaks and the frame thumps against the wall with a particularly deep drop of Dani’s hips. Jamie takes a deep breath, feeling Dani’s knuckles against her pubic bone as the woman on top of her moans through her clenched teeth. She’s touching herself at such a fervent pace it sends her fingers slipping and bumping against Jamie. Jamie can begin to feel the telltale signs of Dani’s release as her walls grip her harder with every pass of fingers over her swollen bundle.

Jamie’s head becomes so fuzzy with thoughts of Dani, she almost doesn’t notice her own release creeping up on her. She can feel it in the backs of her teeth, the wave of pleasure comes on so strong. She almost doesn’t have time to take action. Jamie’s hands, in their place on Dani’s thighs, get ready to push the other woman off with a warning, “Poppins,  _ fuck - Dani _ , I’m going to come.” 

Maybe it’s the sleepiness, or the rush of being so close to her own climax that it clouds her thoughts, but something feels strange; like the calm before a storm. The quiet hush as the chirping stops when a hawk’s shadow swallows up a bush filled with songbirds. Dani comes without Jamie’s name trembling on her lips for the first time in years - maybe ever, in their  _ one day at a time  _ relationship. Jamie feels hot, but her sweat feels cold suddenly on her temple, as Dani twitches around her and her hips keep up their tempo.

“Dani?” Jamie gasps, a sort of broken off slip of her lover’s name as she feels a tightening in her stomach gather rapidly. A knot of tingling simmers in her and she attempts in vain to lift Dani off her. She’s suddenly hyper focused on the fact she’s going to come.  _ She’s going to come inside Dani _ .

Jamie’s done it before, but they’re usually careful. With Dani finding her emotions so sensitive day to day, her birth control has been forgotten on the dresser. They keep track of her periods, they use protection, and if they don’t, Dani is quick to respond to little pats on her thigh as a warning, or the telltale signs of Jamie’s motions turning messy. But Dani doesn’t stop, Dani speeds up. 

Dani’s palms slide up onto the neck of the woman under her. Jamie’s brow furrows as she struggles to control her own reactions, her own impulse to just let  _ go.  _ Her voice leaves her in a cut off yelp, eyes widening as Dani’s fingers tighten around her neck. Pressing into her thundering pulse, leaking the oxygen out of her lungs with every strangled breath. They’ve never done  _ this  _ before. Jamie’s hands grab onto Dani’s forearms, trying to ease them from putting her weight on Jamie’s windpipe as she leans into the conflicted struggle. 

She leans, and in the dim light coming from their bedroom window filtered by thin sheer white curtains, Jamie sees the leer of  _ two _ deep brown eyes staring down at her purposefully. Blonde curls fall in a curtain, tossed over one shoulder that gleams with a sheen of sweat that had accumulated from their actions. Jamie chokes, she feels herself tipping over the edge with only her curled toes anchoring her from spiralling down the cliffside. She tingles, and the lightheadedness of it all only rushes her toward an orgasm faster, like a deer standing still on a highway, transfixed by the headlights and unable to look away. But they’re not headlights. That’s  _ not  _ Dani. 

“Come in her,” Dani’s voice - Dani’s  _ mouth _ forms the words, though they don’t hold her pitch, and there is no endearing American accent Jamie finds so charming. Her words are harsher. Unforgiving. Burning like Jamie’s chest and the muscles in her thighs as she can’t control the jerk of her hips up to meet Dani’s  _ (not Dani, and her heart races but her thoughts feel paused with grief)  _ unrelenting pace. Dani’s hips press down, feeling her twitching under her - keeping Jamie as deep as possible as she urges, “Give it to her.” 

And she can’t breathe, but Jamie finds it in herself to let out an airy attempt at the only thing she’s worried about, “ _ Dani? _ ” Green eyes widened, pupils blown black. The pale skin of her neck surely bruised under the unfamiliar discomfort of Dani’s grip. She looks up at her, this stranger that’s invaded their bed, until she can’t anymore. Her eyes flutter shut. Jamie’s hips roll up harshly as Dani’s push back into her, and she comes inside her. Dani’s hands on her throat ease off, letting in the rush of oxygen she desperately needs as she lets out her climax. It intensifies it, the gasps that Jamie pulls, the way she curls her fingers around Dani’s arms holding her shoulders down until there’s a ringing in Jamie’s ears, and the snapped tension wire lay fallen on the ground, defeated between them. 

Jamie gulps. On the nightstand, a plant sits on its side after being knocked over from the bed shaking. The room is silent again, save for their harsh breathing. Then the first hiccup bubbles in Jamie’s sore throat. And Dani, the  _ real  _ Dani comes back to herself with a startled inhale and her hands catching herself on Jamie’s much-too-quickly moving chest. She goes to move; her face flushes red as she realizes their hips are locked together,  _ Jamie’s inside her? _ But she was  _ sleeping  _ and- 

“No,” Dani blurts out, her chin wobbling. In the dark, her fingers search amongst the bedsheets at their sides. “No, Jamie,” Her hand follows the length of Jamie’s arm from her shoulder to trace the freckled skin down to her hand, so their palms can press together in a gentle hold. Jamie doesn’t tighten her fingers, but Dani squeezes her own between them with reassurance. The lack of response startles her, down to her bones and radiates a numbing cold to her limbs.  _ Jamie?  _ There’s bruises on her neck shaped like the hand that holds her limp one. 

“I didn’t…” Jamie starts and it makes Dani gasp in relief hearing her shaken tone, and she’s surprised hearing the panic in her own voice. She’s trembling, and she’s too scared to touch Dani just yet. She can’t think of what to say,  _ what to do _ , so she lands on a watery-eyed look that directs away from Dani and downturned lips, “I didn’t mean to-“ Dani catches the other woman’s chin in her hands, doesn’t let her gaze fall away from her own. Seeing the worry in Jamie’s eyes, knowing it’s for  _ her;  _ it makes it better, when she kisses her hard enough to make Jamie yelp into her open mouth. Hard enough Jamie finally  _ looks  _ at her. Sees blue eyes,  _ two of them _ , finally matching as they peer at Jamie with equal amounts of concern. 

“Jamie,” Dani lifts her hips, can’t help but make a soft noise as she feels herself lose the fullness she can’t remember getting accustomed to earlier. Her hand trembles as she flicks the lamp beside their bed on. It brings to light the bruises turning soft shades of purple on Jamie’s neck against the cream colored sheets. It illuminates Dani’s figure, on her knees above Jamie and the crimson that stains her cheeks, the color flowing down her neck and to her chest. “Jamie, it’s okay,” Dani tries, feeling helpless while Jamie’s features are morphing into an expression saved only for the  _ bad days _ . 

Jamie’s eyes flick down to where she and Dani are still connected, at the sticky mess between them. The wetness that coats her and Dani and shines on the soft skin of her inner thigh. “I tried to stop-“ 

“I’m glad you didn’t,” Dani interrupts her. She kisses each of Jamie’s cheeks, cooling the panic that rises in the other woman’s chest.

Dani’s own cheeks feel hot as she shifts her knees, thinking how nice it feels being full to the point she can feel it leak from her with such subtle movements. Her hand fumbles as it drifts between them, in the barely there space between their stomachs. She swirls her fingers around, watching Jamie’s eyes roll back, collecting some of the sticky warmth that has begun to dribble out of her. She doesn’t let herself hesitate before pulling them back up to lay against her tongue, before her lips close and she sucks them with a muted wet sound, her hollowed cheeks burning ever brighter as Jamie’s eyes don’t leave her mouth. She lets her pajama shirt fall off her shoulders, much preferring to let her skin press into Jamie’s as a way to calm her down. She waits a moment, letting Jamie’s breathing return back to the realm of normal. Waits until Jamie has enough of her sorts back in the quiet they’d created to ask the question she knew was clawing at the edge of her mind. 

“Why?” 

“She knows it’s breaking me,” Dani starts. She’d learned a lot, a lot that lingers below the waterline in the lake that’s swallowed up so much of her life. Viola had pushed her under the surface and for once - she’d been the one peering into  _ Viola’s  _ mind. “It’s breaking her, too,” Dani states. The pain, the loss, the  _ confusion. _ The Lady in the lake is drowning, and like anyone caught in the tides, she’s clinging to the only thing keeping her afloat. 

“No offense,” Jamie’s voice cracks on the end of the word, “But I couldn’t give less of a fuck about your beast, especially not now.” 

“She doesn’t  _ want  _ me to break.” Dani stresses. She presses her cheek against Jamie’s chest, listening to the gardener’s heartbeat. “She knows if she breaks me, she’d be gone too.” Jamie’s arms come up and tighten around Dani’s waist on top of her. As if she’s the only thing keeping her from floating off into the abyss.

“So why would she…” Jamie trails off, confused. Her eyebrows pulled together. 

“She wants to be her own person again, I think,” Dani sighs, and her eyes blink closed. Her fingers tap on Jamie’s chest next to her own nose. “Not a bad person...” The au pair adds, a little softer. 

“Just, a person.” Jamie finishes, a look of understanding dawning across her expression. She swallows, her hand runs down Dani’s back in a sort of unconscious need to comfort her. She’s tired, and she feels like she’s never going to sleep again at the same time. Worry coursing through her veins like caffeine. Jamie presses a kiss to the crown of Dani’s head, lets her chin rest against the spot as she shifts to look up at the ceiling. “Our person?” Jamie finally asks, in a timid voice. 

“I think so, yeah.” Dani agrees. She lays in the quiet, and for once, that is what it is. Quiet. Jamie’s heartbeat and her own breathing, no beast lurking in the dark spaces between moments, waiting. She doesn’t want to jinx herself, but Dani lets out what might be a breath she’s been holding since their last night at the manor. “I think it worked.”

There’s a pause, and Jamie clutches her tighter, closer, and with a light promise laced into the word, Jamie repeats, “Our person it is, then.” 

Jamie, chuckling, begins to lift Dani off her thighs. Her seed begins to leak out before Dani can stop her. She drops her weight back onto Jamie’s lap, resulting in a resounding  _ oof  _ from Jamie, “Can we develop some kind of code word for before you do that, Poppins? I need a bit of a warning, if you don’t mind. Not that I’m complaining,” she winks. Her head tilts up, hoping to hear that cute, tinkling laugh she loves so much.

But Dani isn’t laughing. If anything, she looks as if she’s about to start crying, “Do you think we could just, maybe spend the rest of the night, like this?” Dani looks into Jamie’s eyes with every ounce of vulnerability in her body, “I- I just want to be close to you.” Jamie’s heart thumps as she returns her look before pulling Dani as close as she could in their position.

Jamie thinks she can handle a pair of curious hands tipping over her flower pots and messy miniature footprints dirtying the apartment if it means she gets to keep  _ this.  _ She gets to keep Dani close to her for whatever time they’ve got. Jamie’s never been a greedy person, but she can’t help but feel like they both deserve it. Jamie thinks of being able to wake up without being weighed down by the heavy, cloying worry that holds her eyes shut until her fingers find Dani’s snoring figure next to her. The gut wrenching idea that  _ that  _ day might be  _ the  _ day. 

That she’ll be able to make them both tea, every morning, without worrying about the day two mugs become one. That what’s happened - _whatever the fuck that was_ - might have bought them more time, maybe all the time they want. Her nose bumps against Dani’s and she looks into the other woman’s eyes. Her _blue_ eyes that Jamie so vividly remembers falling in love with in a kitchen in a manor in the countryside. 

“Fine by me, Poppins.” 


End file.
